How many of us have begun a diet with gusto, resisting all the foods we’re not supposed to eat, vowing never to give up . . . only to chuck it to the curb when we’ve slipped a bit, indulging in 1 or 2 (or 3 or 4) no-nos and ended up feeling guilty? How many of us have embarked on a new fitness routine, promising to find time to work out 3, 4, or 5 days a week so we can shed those winter pounds and not be embarrassed to walk out on the beach or show up at the pool . . . only to quit when we didn’t reach our weight goal or missed a few workouts and wallowed in our disappointment in ourselves?

We, as humans, tend to take on enormous pressure to achieve certain goals that we’ve imposed on ourselves. We also, many times, find ourselves dining on self-loathing when we fail. It’s happened time and time again. So what’s the cure?

1) Set reasonable goals.

2) Give yourself some wiggle room.

It may be somewhat safe to assume that the majority of us have heard the first one before. If you set goals that are impossible, or can’t be reached within the time frame you’ve given yourself, then success is always going to be the proverbial ‘dangling carrot’ you can’t quite capture. While setting priorities is important, you also have to know yourself and what you’re capable of, which is why it’s sometimes better to start off small and add to it once you’ve established a routine and know you can manage it.

The second one isn’t very common. It’s kind of like forgiving yourself – we frown upon that. A lot. Our expectations are so high that when we slip up, we beat ourselves into the ground, admonishing ourselves for being careless, stupid, weak . . . you choose the destructive adjective. But it doesn’t have to be that way. And the way to do that is to establish a goal with a range. While dedication is paramount to successfully managing your money, you have to be flexible, too, and understand that Life has a funny way of messing with everything you’ve planned. That’s where wiggle room comes in.

Let’s say, for example, that you’d like to save up for some kind of home improvement, special vacation, whatever. You decide to put $300 away every month so you reach your goal. It goes well until you need to replace the hot water heater and you’re unable to set aside the money that month. You’re not happy. That puts you behind. So you may think, then, that you’ll need to double it the next month so you can catch up. Well, guess what? You can’t quite scrape together enough. You panic, thinking that now you’re even further behind. How are you ever going to reach  your goal?! Finally, after a few months of beating yourself up, you give up and say, “I just can’t do it.”

Now try this on for size. Set a range for your goal. Instead of setting a strict time frame, give yourself a few months or so as a buffer. So, rather than 12 months, set your goal at 12 to 16 months. If Life tosses you a zinger, it’s not the end of the world. You’re still within your time range. And don’t think you need to double the amount the next month. Maybe try just putting a little extra over the course of a few months to make up for it.

Setting a range works with the monthly amount, too. You’d like to set aside $300 every single month, but we all know how Life works and it may not always happen. So how about giving yourself a range of, say, $100 to $300 per month? That way, if something happens and you can’t put the full $300, you can still shoot for as little as $100. And, coupled with the time range, you can still reach your goal and enjoy whatever it is you were saving for.

Yes, it takes a little patience. Yes, it takes dedication, too. But if you build in a buffer to allow for Life’s little surprises, you can accomplish your goal and revel in the feeling of success.