I’m normally not one to openly broadcast the events in my life, but I feel compelled to bend that rule a bit today. I hope you’ll understand . . .

On Sunday October 28, my mom was rushed into emergency surgery to repair a ruptured abdominal aortic aneurism. She surprised everyone by surviving the ordeal and a second surgery the next day to remove a blood clot in her leg. She fought valiantly for a week and a half, but infection and other complications finally proved to be too much for her and she passed away on Wednesday November 7. And just a few days later I had to say goodbye to the most incredible woman I’ve ever known.

When I think of her, I think of all the things that made her who she was. She was patient (tolerant!), kind, and generous beyond belief. She had a wicked sense of humor, an infectious smile that bordered on impish, and a passion for life. She was down-to-earth and had an amazing ability to make everyone around her feel special. She was a dedicated wife to my dad (they were joined at the hip for all of their 54 years together) and she was, of course, a very loving mom to my sister, brother, and me as well as a wonderful grandmother to all eight who called her “Nana”.

I know she loved us not because she told us all the time; I know it because she showed us.

Her love was in all the meals she made from scratch, from spaghetti sauce and cranberries to cinnamon rolls and Julekage. It was in the handmade Halloween costumes, cross stitched gifts for just about every occasion from housewarming to anniversaries, and the knitted caps for babies in impoverished countries around the world. She showed how much she cared by volunteering in the kitchen on Bingo night, stuffing stockings for soldiers overseas, and taking care of the finances for a community organization. She golfed for charity, could answer just about any computer software question you threw at her, coached youth bowling, and brought the best kinds of sweets to the monthly dinner meetings that made the guys get dessert first (just to make sure they got some!). She chaperoned school functions and class parties, and waited up nights until she was sure we got home safely, which also meant punishing us for breaking the rules. She loved us enough to set us free (even though it broke her heart), then welcomed us home without judgment when it didn’t work out. She gently, but firmly, raised us to be considerate, compassionate human beings. She knew when to give us advice, when to hold back, and when to just hold us and let us cry. She hugged her grandkids every chance she got. She quickly recognized people for a job well done. She kept us grounded and humble while, at the same time, lifting us up, supporting us in all our endeavors.

Her love was in everything she did and said. And for that I am truly grateful.

I’ve long since believed (thanks to Mom) that we should let the people we love know that we love them – all the time. Love isn’t something to be saved only for special occasions like birthdays, holidays, or anniversaries. It’s something to be shared on a daily basis, or at least as often as you can, in whatever way that you can. And I don’t mean with gifts and material things – I mean with simple words and actions.

Whose heart doesn’t flutter when her boyfriend tells her how great she looks in those jeans? What guy doesn’t feel special when his wife surprises him with his favorite meal for no reason in particular? How about when a child’s parents tell him how totally proud they are of him just for finishing the race? Or when a friend takes the time to listen to you vent, and does so without judging or advising? Or maybe doing something kind for a complete stranger? Or bringing a meal to someone in need? Or showing up to lend support to a friend?

Our words and actions have a greater impact on others than we realize. There are countless ways we can show our love, concern, and compassion for others. A few take some effort. Most take little effort at all. And yet those “little” things are what people remember the most . . .